AT HOME, ALWAYS SERVE YOURSELF LAST - that way it's easier to surreptitiously slide an extra goose-fat roasted Maris Piper under your pheasant breast. The utterly shameless might deliberately 'forget' the pork belly crackling and bring it out separately when other guests are already busily tucking in and appear to divvy it up fairly.
OF COURSE IT IS ESSENTIAL and absolutely acceptable among fellow Foodies to insist guests start straight away as no-one wants half-cold culinary pleasures.
Cheese Tray Ideas
WHEN ANGLING FOR SECONDS, even if other guests are feigning fullness, comment fulsomely on how difficult it is to find samphire these days, how clever to think of matching zander with star anise, or how wonderful it is to enjoy caramelised quince at the height of its short season. Flattery will get you a fuller stomach! Or play the Foodie fanatic: whilst complimenting the dish, mutter something about not being quite sure you detect the Chinese five-spice powder/yuzu (a tiny yellow Japanese citrus fruit with a limey zing). Your host should be flattered into offering you more, without you appearing to be soliciting for seconds.
WHEN AT A DINNER PARTY AND THE CHEESE APPEARS, simply engage everyone in riveting, preferably non-cheese focused conversation, slyly make cheese in-roads every time you gesticulate a point. Note however: it is likely that other guests may adopt similar tactics with their favoured cheese.
THOUGH THE CURRENT FASHION FOR SHARING MENUS might appear the solution, beware: portions are almost invariably too stingy for truly greedy sharing.
WHEN DINING OUT, DELIBERATE AND AGONISE OVER THE MENU to such an extent that your companions feel duty bound to plump for your also-ran choices - having established, of course, that it's strictly a sharing meal. Then inquire solicitously and effusively after everyone else's dishes and stick your fork in... but make sure you've practically finished your own scrupulously selected dish first.
WHEN YOU END UP SHARING, DON'T PLAY COMPLETELY FAIR. A well-timed bon mot along the lines of "I can't quite get how the tamarind fits into this dish and I really want to try it at home" works a treat. Or be more blatant: "I've never tried this before (however unlikely that may be), it's so extraordinary. I simply can't resist just one more taste..."
WHEN FACED WITH AN IRRESISTIBLE CHEESEBOARD of oozing and pungent delights, ask so many impressively technical questions about raw milk, wheys and washed rinds that the self-styled cheese sommelier will warm to the theme. Delighted to expound to a fellow aficionado, you'll soon find samples of almost everything turning up on your plate.
ARRIVE AT FARMERS' MARKETS READY ARMED with your own supply of plastic spoons to facilitate sampling and avoid the worst of the unseemly scrum. When you find a particularly choice recherché ingredient, engage the producer in informed, animated, ego-massaging chat, whilst you politely and repeatedly investigate the wagyu beef carpaccio.
RELIEVE YOUR FRANTICALLY FROTHING WANNABE-ESPUMA-HOST and offer to serve out the Seville orange and ricotta tart, omitting to mention that pie charts were a bit of a weakness at school - the perfect excuse for helping yourself to an unfairly large slice of the cake.
ALWAYS OFFER TO HELP CLEAR THE PLATES. It's not really shameful to swipe that forlorn last mouthful of salsa verde (pungent anchovy, capers and herb) dextrously with your little finger, or rescue a stray fraise de boise (a tiny wild strawberry of delirious intensity) that a fellow guest has inexplicably left on the plate. There is also a chance of choice pickings... perhaps the crispy rare-breed bacon, which has served its purpose embracing the mallard breast, swiped straight from the roasting tray... or a surreptitious teaspoon dipped in the scrapings of a glossy mustard sauce which didn't quite make it to the table.